What is a Diva? IntroductionWell my Dear, Sweet manipulating DIVA niece has asked her dear sweet old Aunti to put down in writing "WHAT IS A DIVA?" and what kind of work it takes to be a DIVA.
Now she is a Diva down to her little manicured toes, but when I mentioned to her the word "fiances and investing" (about 6 years ago when she was 14) her little shell like DIVA ears picked up. So she went to her Daddy (my Bro) and asked about investing and credit and debit-----hee, hee----she's got her brothers and cousins all spinning around.
Of Course her she is going to college and paying serious taxes, but she doesn't mind, her investment dividends are paying for her college education with little out put from her folks---wise child.
When I gave her the book "Three Black Skirts" I told her that it would help her when she finally went out into the world. But she has also seen me in action, so she considers me a DIVA.
One thing she has noticed and I have to agree with her---there is not enough CLASS in the world anymore, no class acts at all. Everyone wants to be in that "gangsta" mode which is so trashy and cheap. Now for her 20 year old self to take notice of that tells me that she's looking for Armani or at least Brooks Brothers with serious smarts and no hipocracy.
So when old Auntie is down in the dumps about her heart condition---sweet little Diva Niece comes along with an idea to cheer her up. (Gotta Love that child)
She is hoping that other possible Diva's or Diva wanna be's will start taking lessons from this blog.
So this is going to be coming to you in sections or chapters as I work out each chapter and it's hoped that all you DIVA's out there will print it up and make it your Bible.
Now there is a caveat----If I seem to not explain something throughly in one chapter, check another chapter or keeping coming back and check a future chapter because I may either expand on it or revise my thoughts on it. (Even Mean Kitty DIVA's can change their mind)
So here it goes------
What is a Diva?CHAPTER ONEThe word Diva was originally used for opera singers of the first and finest caliber. This word now applies to popular female persons who are non-operatic Because of that it can also apply to an attitude since many of the non-operatic performers now-a-days have little talent.
In order to qualify as a REAL DIVA you must have one or both of two qualities or dominant traits, a broad and expansive voice or great talent and/or a thoroughly captivating and commanding presence.
The word Diva is the femine Latin word of Divus which means “Divine One” or “God/dess” (Male opera singers are sometimes referred to as “Divo”)
So A Diva is a person who has a rare, outstanding talent or is an extremely independent, confident and wildly talented woman. Think Aretha Franklin, Tina Turner, Cher, Marlene Dietrich, and Mae West as a few prime examples.
But in the real world of making a living it’s a lot more than that, it’s also a way of life and survival. As you read on you will find out how to become A Diva~~~~~
THE DIVA’S OUTLOOK ON LIFEA Diva must remember that the word Diva means “Divine Inspiration for Victorious Living” (see Michele McKinney Hammonds’ books)
A Diva knows that if she ignores or dismisses her history she’d be living a lie. A Diva sincerely believes that the mothers, grandmothers and great-grandmothers of the world went though all they did so we Diva’s wouldn’t have to wake up in the morning with plight and torture and insurmountable odds on our shoulders so we can be free to think about outfits, clients, parties, rocking the industry, making tons of money for our financial security and taking over the entire world.
A Diva will never take for granted all the hard work they did and will continue to fight to keep the gains that have been made for womanhood and demand for more.
A Diva will not be trapped into a straight jacketed life as defined by society, religion, government, men (especially from her boyfriend) or other women.
A Diva is shaped by her parents, grandparents and other relations, and if she is in a good family and social environment she will always take the good with her, the bad she will leave behind. If she is in a negative or toxic family and/or social environment she will do her best to break out of it, she will never forget where she came from, but she will not let its scar’s keep her down but overcome them.
A Diva is her own adult person. She does not need another person to help define or fulfill themselves nor does a Diva need another person to love them to feel that they are loved. A Diva Loves Herself First. (More on that later)
This may give the appearance of being selfish or self-centered, which in the long run is not a bad trait if utilized properly, because A Diva KNOWS that to think of herself first is the first rule of survival. The clever trick that the Diva will implement in certain situations, is making it look like it also benefits other people, but the Diva knows it will benefit her first.
For Example: I have a plum tree that needed to have one of its’ large branches removed but I didn’t have the funds, I also noticed that the branch that needed removing was pressing against my neighbors fence and its upper arms crossing over into her yard. I had informed her when she first moved in “if you want to trim back any branches from any of my trees that are going over into your yard, go right ahead and cut them back to the fence line, you shouldn’t have to be annoyed by them.” My act of generosity worked and she didn’t feel guilty about cutting the branches—I had even told her that she was welcomed to harvest any fruit that was ripening on her side. (Fruit Trees as Shade will give more bang for the buck)
Eventually she came to me and explained about the branch pressing against her fence, and the need for the tree trimmers to have to come onto my property to cut the offending branch, I said I understood the necessity for it to be done and had no problem with it and even drew up a letter of permission for the tree trimmers to come onto my property. The end result she was happy that the branch wasn’t pressing against her fence and causing damage and I was very happy that it didn’t cost me a dime.
A Diva can also be truly caring or generous about other people or situations behind the scenes without announcing, being flamboyant or mushy about it. A Real Diva never brags about it, her actions will brag it for her.
EXAMPLE: From the movie “She Done Him Wrong” with Mae West
Woman with small child stops Lady Lou (West) on the street---“Miss Lou you are a fine woman, A Fine Woman!”
Lou replies with a smile: “One of the finest women to walk the Streets!”
This scene suggests that Lady Lou has helped needy people without her racketeer boyfriend and his cronies as well as any religious or social snobs knowing about it.
Later on in the film Lou sells one of her fabulous diamond necklaces to prevent the charity mission from being kicked out of its home. Granted she does that to prevent the handsome Chaplin from leaving her sphere of influence but her selfish action also keeps a much needed organization from leaving. Watch the movie “She Done Him Wrong” and although dated and a bit corny, see a Diva in action. There are several films featuring Mae West which shows what actions a “worldly-wise” woman will do to get her man, but also helps other people---“Belle of the Nineties”, “Klondike Annie” West’s characters never mock religion or motherhood, but knows how the real world is like and how naive people can be.
A Diva is always confident in her abilities, she knows that with her knowledge, smarts and talents she can mentally “kick butt and take names”, however there are times when it’s good for a Diva to have someone around to bounce ideas off of, whom a Diva will consider a friend, but never either a rival or a slave.
A Diva knows, understands and plays the mans’ game without being a bitch, she knows she has to be smarter than men and stay away from using sex or gutter tactics that can place her in a position of personal, career, financial or legal harm or scandal.
A Diva is always aware of the law and will make the law work for her. If a Diva wants to get a quick lesson about the law she should tape, “Judge Judy”, “People’s Court”, “Judge Joe Brown” and “Cops” not only will she get a quick lesson on the law but also get a laugh about people’s stupidity.
A Diva is never a bitch. Although the term “diva” has been used in a less than flattering tone which indicates “bitch”, a Diva knows that when it’s used in the negative the other person is describing an unpleasant, demanding, and troublesome woman. A True Diva is none of that, but she always gets what she wants, and if she can’t get it, she doesn’t want it.
A Diva will turn the word “bitch” to mean a
“Babe In Total Control of Herself”
(B.I.T.C.H.) which a Diva always is. She will also turn that word around to also mean a
Beautiful, Intellegent, Talented, Charming Honey.
A Diva is tough without appearing to be tough, but she is not passive/aggressive either, she always works from a position or platform of power, knows all the angles, will make sure that what she has, and is doing is within the law and will hold up in court, and thinks like a man without having to be one. (You will note that I will repeat this quite often---remember don’t act like Rosie O’Donnell)
A Diva NEVER SHOWS ANGER, or distress about a situation and she never panics. If a situation comes up that could make her angry she controls it and instead will analyze the situation to see if there is any way it can be worked in her favor or if there is some way she can utilized the situation. Otherwise she will take it as a learning lesson and file it away among her repertoire of Diva tools.
A Diva will remember to “Hope for the Best, Expect the Worst and See what comes.”
A Diva strongly believes in a woman’s right to choose. This is something she will never forget, because once her
sovereignty* is taken away she and her Diva sisters will begin to lose all that those who went before her fought hard to win. A Diva will make sure that she and her sisters will never lose those freedoms of choice.
A Diva always knows that she is talented, gorgeous and smart although a man may never be aware of it, belittles it or doesn’t even think of it, it’s one way to outsmart them, and should a man even attempt to belittle a Diva for her smarts, she KNOWS he’s poison and will kick him to the curb right away. A Diva doesn’t need a guy like that to “squire” her around
A Diva can be and most always is a “Warrior Woman” but she never shows it, except when she makes “the Kill”, and even then she does it like a Lady.
A Diva understand the saying “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me,” so she makes sure she is NOT fooled at all.
Especially in the items that will be listed, A Diva will be the master of or have a strong understanding in matters of health, business, finance, educational knowledge, attitude, interaction with others and dress, and this can pay off in big dividends----especially if Divas want things to come their way.
A Diva will not be rushed into decision making, but will apply the
“10-10-10” rule, which is “How will this affect me in 10 minutes, in 10 months, in 10 years.” Part of this would also assume that the Diva has both short term and long term goals and also a willingness to realize that it’s important to face difficult realities and that this rule will bring about a realization of what is truly important and will prevent the Diva as she is growing up from getting into serious trouble.
For Example: If a Diva is with her friends and one of them says “Hey so and so is having a party, lets go and crash it” A Diva will mentally step back and quickly analyze the situation--- She will think ‘will this bring the police, will I get arrested, or harmed, will I go to jail and therefore lose any chances of good financial advancement. Will this childish action be harmful to me in any way especially as I get older?” A Diva will realize that for the few moments of childish actions or imagined infantile insults, it can lead to a lifetime of pain.
A Diva can be commanding and yet nice, especially when dealing with someone in the service industries such as a Sales girl, waitress, housekeeping in hotels, anyone who renders the Diva a service. A Diva knows that these overworked and underpaid staff persons are what help keeps the Diva’s wheels rolling.
Two Examples: My boyfriend and I traveled to of all places Stockton, for a special event, the hotel we were staying at was very nice but not like staying at a 5 star hotel where a room could costs minimum of $500 a day, but every morning, before we left for the day I would leave a $5.00 tip on the night stand with a note saying “Thank You Housekeeping”.
I did this every day as I didn’t know which person was cleaning the room, the end result was when we returned each evening we had fresh towels, fresh sheets, fresh supplies of everything, every thing was immaculate and sparkling, even though we had not requested it.
My Diva eyes noted that whoever was assigned to our rooms was making an extra effort for us. On the last day we were leaving, again I left a tip but I added a longer note that said “Thank You Housekeeping for making our stay so comfortable.” I knew that it would be shown to the other staff and it would certainly reflect that their hard work did not go un-noticed and was appreciated, something that would give a boost to staff, but in doing that it made our vacation wonderful. So it pays for a Diva to note extra hard work by another.
The other event occurred during the Christmas holidays, I was at a department store and was looking at the special offerings of jewelry (A Diva can never have too much jewelry---the real stuff), the counter was crowded and the short amount of staff harassed.
People were saying ”here, here take me,” well as soon as one of the staffers finished with one customer she looked up with tired eyes and looked around and all I did was just smile and raised my hand a little and waved.
She immediately came over to me by passing the patrons who were trying to get her attention, once she was in front of me and everyone else realized I was next, I looked at her, smiled and said “Now take a few moments and breathe” She did and I knew it gave her a few seconds to get her thoughts together, that moment of sanity.
I suggested that management might want to consider a number dispenser to help create some order for staff and she said she was going to inform them and was grateful for the idea. I deliberately went slowly more for her sake than mine. And she gave me full quality service because with me she got a mini-mental health break.
So it pays for a Diva to note when a service person is also having a rough day, by acknowledging that the service person is human with feelings and problems, the service person will go the “extra mile” in service to the Diva.
A Diva needs top quality people in these fields------
Doctors---internists, and GYN, Dentist, eye doctors, and any other doctors, Lawyers (may need more than one), auto mechanic, a good financial officer/advisor (investments), a good CPA(Taxes---a Diva never does her own taxes when she can hire someone to do it but she will always keep excellent financial records), plumber, appliance repair for large appliances, a Vet (if you have a pet), gardener, handyman, maid cleaning service, grocery store that delivers, dry cleaner, tailor or seamstress, shoemaker for repair, hair stylist/beautician, manicurist/pedicurist, masseuses, computer repair person, insurance agent (auto, home, personal) a personal shopper (if need be) and if she is a Diva Mom a good pediatrician, Nanny, Day Care, Baby Sitter, Private School, tutors, etc.
If you have quality people at your service you have it made.
So why these people, one might ask? Some of them are fairly obvious, but some are not, so I’ll explain----A Diva knows how to make things last, because it does pay to be Frugal and not max the credit cards.
If a Diva’s Jimmy Cho’s shoe breaks or the handle breaks on her Gucci bag and as you know they ARE expensive, she doesn’t throw them away, she repairs them. The same with clothing, autos, appliances, electronic stuff. In that way a Diva can be frugal, but when it’s dead it’s dead, still a Diva doesn’t throw it away, she will donate to a charity because there will be someone who might be able to fix it and it’s also a tax right off.
More coming in the next Chapter but let me explain
*Sovereignty to you-------
This is a word that is not heard of much but to Woman and Diva kind it's a very, VERY important word and living condition-----
SOVEREIGNTY is the quality or authority of being independent and in charge of the conditions you live under.
Spedifically the word is used here about legally and practically arranging your affairs in such a way that you ARE in charge of your life, that you are prepared for challenges to your freedom, and that you don't unwittingly sign yourself and your family away to virtual slavery.
But you must remember----that Sovereignty carries with it RESPONSIBILITY. That is , if you take your life in your own hands, you also take upon yourself to act responsibly and with integrity in regards to your own life, your family, your community, you fellow human beings and the planet as a whole.
This is something that a Heck of a lot of Teenagers DO NOT UNDERSTAND----O.K remember you want to be your own person---then be a responsible person, and too many teenagers do not comprehend that. They want to be free but not responsible, that is why so many of them land in jail or dead.
BUT A DIVA KNOWS AND UNDERSTANDS THIS TO IT'S FULLEST EXTENT AND WILL NEVER GIVE UP HER SOVEREIGNTY WHEN SHE BECOMES AN ADULT---SHE DOES NOT GIVE IT TO ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS, DRUGS, ALCHOLE, OR OVER EXTENDED CREDIT.
A DIVA IS ALWAYS HER OWN PERSON!!!!
The next chapter will be coming soon.
Mean Kitty taking a nap.
